The 50% Solution

Could this be the year that the zamboni karma runs over the LA- LA-Land hockey playoff dogma? The dogma being that there just isn’t enough hockey mojo in SoCal to have two winning teams concurrently.

L.A. has had two pro hockey teams twice. In 1972-73 we had the LA Sharks at the downtown Sports Arena and the L.A Kings at the Fabulous Forum in Inglewood. It’s been 17 years since the advent of the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. In those 19 total seasons of two team LA hockey, never have both teams made it to the playoffs in the same season. Yet only in 3 of those seasons, 94–96, did neither team qualify.

Less then a quarter of the way thru the 10-11 season with the Dean Lombardi built Terry Murray guided Kings playing like contenders and Teemu Salanne’s swan song Ducks finally eclipsing the .500 mark with 6 wins in a row, it is not inconceivable that they both make the playoffs and possibly even face each other in the 1^st round. This would be L.A. hockey fans’, media’s, coaches’ and marketers’ wet dream. The Kings thru hard work and discipline work their way into the West Conference top 3, while the Ducks could quack into the 6 to 8 spot. History weighs heavy against this watershed LA sports defining moment, an NHL playoff freeway/subway series reminiscent of the era defining Rangers-Devils-Islanders rivalries.

The Kings actually made the playoffs in their first two seasons. I became a fan & faux reporter and watched the Kings finish out of the playoffs for the next 4 years. In the 4^th year of that streak, the 72-73 season, the L.A. Sharks of WHA were born and promptly made the playoffs. The following season the the Kings were playoff bound while the L.A. Sharks finished out of the playoffs and were bound for Baltimore to become the Blades. Once the Sharks skated out-of-town, the Kings made the playoffs an unbelievable 8 years in a row, 3 times advancing to the 2^nd round. And quite surprisingly in the years when the Kings were the only major hockey show in town they visited the playoffs 15 out of 18 seasons, that’s a whopping 85% !

If you want further evidence of the limit of L.A’s Hockey karma consider this; The year after Marty McMelrose and Wayne Gretzky lost in the Finals to Patrick Roy & Jacque Demer’s ruler, 1) The Mighty Ducks were hatched 2) The Kings proceeded to miss the playoffs 4 years in a row, and 3) The Ducks made the playoffs in their, you guessed it, 4^th year. Then amazingly, 1996-2000 the two SoCal teams alternated making and missing the playoffs.

The 99-02 Andy Murray Kings made the playoffs 3 years in row while the Ducks floundered around the shallow end of the Pond. Andy Murray not only wore out his players, his welcome, but also somehow changed the hockey karma chameleon to Orange, as in County. The Kings watched from home as the 02-03 Ducks made it all the way to the Stanley Cup finals losing to left winglocking, clutch and grabbing NJ Devils, with Scott "Concussionist" Stevens and Marty “ more goose eggs then zeros in my paycheck “ Brodeur. The Ducks mighty trip to the finals sucked up so much SoCal hockey mojo that they couldn't reach .500 the following year while the Kings were so drained by the Ducks feat that they didn’t make the playoffs for the next SIX years.

In 05-06 the Ducks rebounded by luring Scott Neidermayer west to play in the Pond with little bro Rob. They went 3 rounds in the playoffs, losing to Edmonton & Chris Pronger, whom they then stole from the Oilers. Consequently, in 06-07, the Ducks became the Stanley Cup Champions, a season in which the Kings finished with only 68 points, their fewest in ten years.

Last season, 09-10, the Kings finally returned to the playoffs for the 1^st time in 6 years and so naturally the Ducks missed out. This season will end with a Ducks vs Kings home-on-home series. Will both teams be jockeying for playoff spots? Will there be enough hockey juice in SoCal for both teams to make it? Will the Kings knock the Ducks out of the playoffs? Will the final 2 games of the regular season foreshadow or even set up the rapture of a new mega-rivalry wherein the two L.A. teams meet in a 1^st round epic battle for the ages

History says, “Not gonna happen!” But karma says, “What comes around goes around.”

Prone Position

Why was the sickening sight of of Justin Williams falling awkwardly and breaking his leg in the 12/26 Kings vs. Coyotes game totally predictable? Well, 20/20 hindsight tells us that Kings GMs are doomed to repeating the same wishful thinking mistakes an abused wife makes in taking back her abusive hubby and thinking it won’t happen again. When it comes to the reality of acquiring previously injured players, each Kings GM says there is no such thing as “injury prone” and believes fervently it can’t happen here. Well, it looks like the previously injured Justin Williams is out for at least 3 months! He must have slipped on Marty McSorely's stick. 'Cause he can't be injury prone.

Let’s look at some notable previously injured past Kings acquisitions.

The favorite of many-a Kings fan, Mister 110%, balls to the walls every shift Adam Deadmarsh had already had 2 concussions, a knee and an eye injury when the Kings traded for him (and Aaron Miller for Rob Blake). As a King he gave us many incredible inspiring heroic moments, including the overtime playoff goal against Detroit. Sadly, all too soon, Deadder had to retire at 27 from 2 additional noggin knockers he received while playing 3 partial seasons as a King.

Four time all-star Rick Martin (not La Vida Loca), the 50 goal scoring sniper on the Sabres famous French Connection Line (not Gene Hackman) with Gil Perreault and Rene Robert also cannot be considered injury prone. On November 8, 1980, while still a Sabre, Martin injured his right knee in a collision with Washington Capitals' goalie Mike Palmateer. Just 4 months later the Kings acquired Martin(not Mar-taan) for a first-round draft choice two years in the future (Tom Barrasso!). He only played four frickin' games for the Kings and had to retire due that knee injury at 30.

An earlier (1974) hero/bust for the Kings was the speedy Gene Carr. Also acquired for a first round choice (Ron Duguay). He was the King of breakaways; seemed to get a couple per game. Hardly ever scored on one. He either put the biscuit in the goalies gut or hit the post. Kings got him from the Rangers a year after he had suffered serious injuries in a taxi cab accident! Carr was an early facilitator of the rock music/ice hockey fusion, in that he became good friends with the Eagles' Glenn Frey, who often wore a Kings Gene Carr jersey on stage. The Kings traded Gene to the Pens 18 months before he had to retire due to spinal fluid problems at 28.

As the Kings losing streak since this most recent injury hits 4, we wish the best for Justin Williams and the team and hope they can recapture the magical dominating performance Smyth- Kopitar and he put on for the 1^st quarter of this season; And most ardently hope our last memories of Justin are not of him prone on a stretcher.

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Friends Don’t Let Friends Join the Same NHL team - Part 1 (of 3)

Sydney Crosby and Jack Johnson, this is a warning to you two long time school buddies and great hockey players. “Friends Don’t Let Friends Join the Same NHL team.”

If you’ve got enough clout with the management, if you’re a highly sought after free agent and the stars are alligned just right, you may get the opportunity to play on the same NHL team as your best hockey buddy. Better you should babysit for your best friend’s hot–to-trot teenage sister!  

Wayne Gretzky, Brett Hull - St.Louis Blues, Paul Kariya Teemu Selanne -  Colorado Avs and now the Dynamic Finnish Duo Teemu and Saku as Ducks.  Are you kidding me ?  Better than Kristi Yamaguchi skating to live songs by Seal, Bocelli or Metallica for that matter.  A no brainer, match made in heaven, two peas in a pod, bet the house!  Hold it right there, the hockey gods say otherwise…..

I’ve been a Mighty Duck fan since I first laid eyes on their logo. (More on this later) I also immediately became a Paul Kariya fan. His name is Korea, but he’s half Japanese? Cool! He was so good in college the Ducks used their first round draft choice on Paul, eventhough he was gonna stay in school another year. 

I first heard of Teemu when I was playing pick-up hockey with Mark, a Winnipegian at Van Nuys Iceland (before it was “improved”). He came in the dressing room/front desk/snack bar one evening raving  about a guy on the Jets named Salami breaking Mike Bossy’s goal scoring record.  And by the way he (Mark) had just won the Green Card lottery.  (see Teemu's celebration in my blog below) When Teemu joined Paul with the Ducks my fandom was signed, sealed and delivered and the expectations for the Ducks' success and  great hockey watching skyrocketed.

They played  parts of 6 seasons together with the Mighty Ducks,  developed great chemistry on and off the ice and had several hundred point and 50 goals seasons between them, with great centering help from Steve Rucchin. But, they had  only 3 playoff rounds to show for their efforts; beating the Yotes and twice getting swept by Red Wings.

Teemu, an upcoming free agent was traded to the Sharks, who needed that extra scoring punch to get them over the hump. (sound familiar?) That didn’t work out too well. At the end of 2003 season he became a free agent again. 

Kariya, during the 2003 Stanley Cup Finals, got his bell rung by Scott Stevens’ patented forearm shiv to the head, returned  to the ice and scored a goal. After losing in 7 games to the nuetral zone trapping left-wing locking New Jersey Devils, Kariya decided to Duck out of Aneheim.

Finding themselves free at the same time, Teemu and Paul decided that rather entertaining huge long term offers from several teams, they would reunite their skills and friendship and pursue Lord Stanley in Colorado. They signed for one year for just a million dollars each, because they felt the Avs plus the 2 of them had a great shot at the cup.

Av’s GM Pierre LaCroix thanked God for the manna from heaven bestowed upon him, but apparently forgot to make an offering to the hockey gods. That Avs team included the two million dollar buds plus  Forsberg, Sakic, Blake, Foote, Heyduk, Tanguay and so on (no Roy). Teemu had a piss poor 16 goal season, no goals and -2 in the playoffs. Kariya had a miserable injury filled 11 goal season, came back for the elimination playoff game, scored a goal but was minus -1. They were eliminated in the 2^nd round by  Selanne's ex-team, the Sharks.

The next season they went their separate ways. Selanna rejoined the Ducks who lost the "mighty" and won the cup in 2007.  (Thank you! TMu).  Korea resisted the temptation to reunite with his fowl weather friend  and became an oft injured Predator and now a veteran mostly healthy St. Louis Blue.

Friends Don’t Let Friends Join the Same NHL team!

(Part 2 - Gretzky & Hull - coming soon)

The Kings Thirty Somethings

In their long history of fruitlessly pursuing success, the L.A. Kings have often brought in "mature" veteran players to help alleviate their inadequacies of the moment. The trade or signing always seemed to have solid rationale and great potential just like their latest 30 something acquisition, Ryan Smith.

Granted, 33 is the new 28, and yes the Smyth trade makes a lot of sense. He should be a great fit with the young Kings. But his age, multi-million dollar salary, his unique #94 and the fact that he's joining a long list of the many ”past their prime 30 somethings” who have bravely come to the Kings with high hopes only to be confounded by the laid back SoCal non-hockey environment, makes this move just another royal crapshoot.

Will he join the Kings’ least  successful veteran acquisitions;  Gary Unger, who at 33 played 58 games for the Kings and  scored 10G -10A  with  -17 rating.  He still had the long blonde hair sans helmet which made him look fast , but did not really have his former passion for the game. Steve Shutt age 32,  59 games  (15g  25a, -16) had the ex-Montreal aura and not much else. The most recent mature Kings flop was Jeremy Roenick at age 36; Summered in Italy and  flew to L.A. hoping to get in shape during the pre-season. LOL; 58 games 9 goals and bye bye.

The 30 something loopiness also was evident as the Kings repeatedly jerked around Hall ‘o Famer Luc Robitaille, who was first traded away at 27 for the 31 year old Rick Tocchet, brought in to provide muscle and scoring for Wayne’s world. Tocchet played parts of 2 seasons in L.A. and then was traded for Kevin Stevens who at a mere 30  played a season and a half for the Kings and was subsequently traded for Luc who was brought back at age 31. The Kings then, in their infinite wisdom, allowed Luc to become a free agent and sign with Detroit at 35,  where he proceeded to win the Stanley Cup.

WIll Ryan Smyth  be a mixed blessing like Terry Harper 33,  who brought some leadership and beligerance along with his toothless Chesire Cat grin to the Kings. At age 35 Harper was traded to Detroit with Danny Maloney for Marcel Dionne, age 24. (2nd best King trade ever, after Gretzky). Is Smyth a valuable future trade deadline chip?

The other 30 somethings who brought moments of satisfaction and weeks of frustration include Jarri Kurri 31, Pat Conacher 33, John Tonelli 31 and Ray Ferraro 32. Or can Ryan be the next Bob Pulford, who at age 34 came over from the Leafs and played 2 seasons for the Kings, became headcoach and then GM. He brought a whole lotta class, leadership and success to the team during his tenure.

(Or the 'dare we dream' scenario.)

When the Kings claimed the 35 year old Bob Nevin from the Minnesota NoStars in what was called the “Reverse Draft”, he was already 5 seasons removed from a 31 goal season as the captain of the NY Rangers. The Kings hit the jackpot with this free and priceless acquisition, as Nevin really clicked with Butch Goring and 34 year old Frank St. Marseille (acquired the previous year ). They became known as the Kings' "Hard Hat Line”  because of their relentless work ethic and 'cause they were the only forward line where all three members wore helmets. (What a concept!)  Nevin went on to score  64 goals and 77 assists in three seasons with the Kings, matching his carreer high of 31 goals at the age of 36!  Let’s hope Ryan Smith can rekindle the spirit of the Hard Hat Line and channel a bit of Bob Nevin's scoring touch. 

                  As long as King fans expect this of Ryan,

and not this,

 

                                                                                  they won't feel like this.

He's Got Your Number

It’s 2022 and 9 year old Zarthan is at ICEGODS R’ US buying a new hockey jersey.  “Mom, what number should I get?” “Number seven is lucky, honey.”  “Oh mom, that’s like not even a real number!  Nobody wears a number less than 88 anymore.”  True that.  What happened to hockey numbers anyway?  Inflation?  When many of us were playing little league hockey in the 60’s or 70’s the highest number on any pro  team would be something like 30 or 35, and those were always worn by the goalies. 

Just check out this Hall of Fame Montreal Canadians roster from ‘70-’71 and note what numbers they were wearing.  Compare that to their 2009 roster of 25 players, with 10 players wearing numbers of 40 or higher.       

This was the question posed by my pick-up hockey cohort Paul Schroeder which led me to research and blog the hockey numbers game.  (One reason for the above disparity is that the Canadiens these days have only three single-digit unretired numbers left.)

Unlike football, hockey does not have any formalized uniform numbering rules.  There is however a rich and fascinating history behind the tradition of hockey players’ number selection.  The first numbering system started in 1911 in the Pacific Coast Hockey Association, when teams played six plus a goalie with no subs for the whole game! The players were numbered from the goal out: Goaltender #1, Defenceman #2, Defenceman #3, Rover #4, Left Wing #5, Center #6, and Right Wing #7 .

 Later when teams started having larger rosters the tradition of Goalie as #1 and defenseman as lower numbers stayed on, while the additional secondary players got the higher numbers and the back-up goalie was left with the highest.  In the NHL, two important traditions help solidify the numbering tradition. First, because of the importance to the team of a well rested goalie, he was  assigned the most comfortable bunk number 1 on the trains’ sleeping cars  on “road trips.”

Second, the players had a tradition of their own. Over the course of a  season each player was expected to pick up the tab once for a team dinner. This was done in descending order of numbers because the newest players had the higher numbers  and the vets and the starting goalie hoped to avoid shelling out.

So where DO the extreme numbers come from?  Specifically, we can credit or blame the Great One. Legend has it that Wayne as a kid was a great admirer of Mr. Hockey.  The child hockey prodigy chose #99 as homage to Gordie because #9 was already taken on his pee wee team.  Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and since  Gretzky’s number became the only number ever retired for the whole league (any league), it opened the door to future players, who had the cajones to claim  some piece of greatness and chose untraditionally high numbers. Super Mario was  #66 (he had greatness and cajones grandes) Suck on these Hodgkin’s Disease!

 Another tradition evolved when traded players’ lucky numbers were already taken on their new teams. The traded player, when forced to choose a new number chose a variation of his old one (14 instead of 24 for example). If they had a single digit number they would double it.  I think this started when Esposito was traded to the New York and Ranger great Rod Gilbert already had number 7.  Later when Ray Borque joined the Bruins he chose #7, but  in December of 1987, Espo’s #7 jersey was retired by the Boston Bruins in an emotional ceremony. Borque, by then an acknowledge superstar himself became #77 that night (as you can see in the video below). Esposito was "visibly moved" by Ray’s sacrifice, but later commented that after he left Beantown, the Bruins shouldn’t have allowed anyone else to wear 7 in the first place.

Closer to home, everybody’s favorite early days King, Butch Goring couldn’t wear  #19     

when traded to Isles (Brian Trottier), so he became the first double digit flipper. His superstition panned out to the max as he helped the Islanders win four consecutive Stanley Cups wearing #91 and his funky old helmet from juniors.

Then came those crazy high skilled Euro’s trying to give special meaning to everything. Jaromir Jagr chose 68 to commemorate the year the Soviets bounced the Czech’s revolution attempt and killed his grandfather. Alexander Mogilny chose #89 to indicate the year he escaped from Communism to play in American Siberia (Buffalo).

 There are many other quirky jersey number stories in the NHL including the now prohibited #0 worn  by Paul Bibeault & Neil Sheehy and 00 worn by John Davidson and Marty Biron one season each. Bernie Parent wore double zero in the WHA.

 84 was the final number never to have been worn.  NHL forward Guillaume Latendresse finally dressed for the Canadiens as  #84 on  September 29, 2006.

 

Resistance is Futile

Well, congratulations to the amazing death defying Pittsburgh Penguins, you  somehow beat the Borg. 

I clearly remember attending Frozen Fury III  (Kings vs Avs) as part of a Lagloire Vegas Hockey field trip and asking my pick-up hockey cohorts, "Who is that really slow guy falling over everybody? Why is he even out there?" Steve the goalie sardonically quipped, "That's  our new checking forward, Dan Bylsma, emphasis on BILE!" Dan actually scored a goal later in  that game and the rest, as they say, is history. 

The postal predictions once again rang true. Pens had the Cup in their pockets once Detroit's Niklas Kronwall hit the crossbar with only 2:14 left in a one goal 7th game. 

And so with last night's unbelievable victory by mid-season replacement coach Dan Bylsma's Penguins,  3 more ex-Kings get their names on the cup; Dan, Phillippe Boucher and Mathew Garon.  Plus congrats to ex-Ducks Chris Kunitz, Petr Sykora and oh yeah, Dan Bylsma.

My Cup Runneth Over - with ex-Kings

Watching this year's Stanley Cup Playoffs and seeing the usual parade of ex-Kings and ex-Ducks perform, I was once again struck by how similar the feelings for ex-Kings and ex-girlfriends can be;
(1) There she goes breaking another suckers heart.
(2) Oh Man!, Why wasn’t she like that with me!?
(3) I dumped her for who? (Don't know what you got 'till it's gone)

This year many SoCal ex's made it to Lord Stanley’s final four. Carolina’s heading for a heartbreak ‘cause they feature 3 ex-Kings as their D: Corvo (1), Kaberle (3) and Gleason (3). Detroit is solid with Brad Stuart (2) Pittsburgh has depth with Phillip Boucher (3), and Chicago has Huet (1).  Unlike the ex-Kings, the ex-Ducks in the final four fall into the win-win trade category. Sammy Pahlsson & Chris Kunitz have helped the Hawks & Pens defensively and offensively (as did Wiesnewski and Ryan Whitney).  Matt Cullen is still an asset to Carolina.

And even though the Kings were really my special first love, they’ve disappointed me more than my worst passive aggressive co-dependent ex-girlfriend ever did.  Meanwhile, the Ducks have progressed from the mighty hot babe I once only fantasized about to the (SC) trophy wife I am now totally loyal to. Although I can now accept the fact that my ex-team is still light years away from trophydom, I can still look fondly at all the ex-Kings whose names appear on the Stanley Cup and get that same perverse feeling of driving by my ex’s house and wondering what might’ve been. 

Here’s a dizzying factoid; In the last 20 years 17 Cup winners have had an ex-King on board. Only  the 2003 Devils, the 2005 strike and the 1993 Canadiens were missing a cup winning ex-King.

2009 Brad Stuart?/Philipe Boucher? (2&3)
2008 Brad Stuart (2&3) - Red Wings

2007 Sean O'Donnell (2) - Ducks,

2006 Frantisek Kaberle (3) - Canes 
2005  STRIKE – (Kings finish tied for first!)

2004 Darryl Sydor (3) – Lightning
2003 Devils (boring but winning)
2002 Luc Robitaille (3) Steve Duchesne (3) - Red Wings
2001 Rob Blake (3) - Avalanche
2000 Larry Robinson (Coach) - Devils
1999 Darryl Sydor (3) - Penguins

1998 Larry Murphy (3) - Wings
1997 Larry Murphy (3) Wings
1996 Warren Rychel (3) - Avs

1995 Bobby Carpenter (2&3) - Devils
1994 Glenn Healy (1) - Oilers

1993 Canadiens - No ex-Kings just future ex-Kings

1992 Shawn McEachern (3), Larry Murphy - Penguins

1991 Larry Murphy - Penguins

1990 Martin Gelinas (2) - Oilers
1989 Brian MacLellan (3)– Flames 

The most in your face ex-King cup winner was Luc Robitaille who brought the cup back to L.A. and paraded it around at various  SoCal tourist spots.

3 ex-Kings won 4 cups elsewhere; Larry Murphy 2 as a Penguin, 2 as a Red Wing and even more confounding, the 4 Islanders Cups that Butch Goring and Billy Smith helped win.

Going Postal

After watching the Ducks hit 4 goal posts in the first 25 minutes of play and lose to the lowly ugly 3rd jersey Coyotes and thus failing to clinch 6th place, I realized it was time to go postal.

A tie is like kissing your sister, every sports fan understands that. But hitting the post in hockey, that’s more like having your MILF aunt coming on to you at Thanksgiving Dinner. It’s not even a shot on goal, but you almost scored!  Records of this event can only be found in the Bermuda Triangle. It’s not a save, it’s not a goal and it isn't counted as a shot on goal, although you hit the goal (as defined by) the goal posts. Ringing one off the pipe, even in a pick-up game, is like opening a big shiny gift on Xmas morning only to find a dozen dress socks.

Well,  it’s a game of inches, but it’s also a game of decibels.
The roar of the fans, the crunching and rattling of bodychecks against the dasherboards, the loud slap of the puck spanked by a stick and the keen flanged blast of shots hitting the curved glass, all pale in comparison to the harsh dissonant bling of a hard shot off the post. It cuts like a knife through every frequency to announce the melodramatic Maxwell Smart moment, “Missed it by that much!”
The crowd is abuzz, the door is ajar, the players, announcers and cameramen get an adrenalin rush and scramble frenetically to adjust to a situation that almost wasn’t. The shooter looks heavenward and we all become expert lip readers.

The more important the game, the more crucial the situation, the more that is riding on the outcome, the more likely it is that hitting the post is a ba-a-ad omen for the shooter’s team, often instant karma on the resulting counterattack. Overtime, shootout, overtime playoff game; hitting the post is a death knell. (Just track this in the upcoming playoffs. It’s by far the best bet in Vegas)
The harsh ping is also such a surprise because, let’s face it, we can’t really visually follow most hard shots anyway. It is a sudden audio freeze frame of a 100 mph blur. A bookmark in time. A ringning exclamation point of perfect frustration. So close, yet so far away. And each chime of the goal post opens a door and welcomes the shooting team into the Murphy Zone; Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Celebration...Come On.

My pick-up hockey co-hort Paul Schroeder was quite precient in writing the blog below a week before the “The Ovechkin 50th goal excessive celebration" NHL hissy fit. Instead of promoting the positive excitement of Ovie’s 50th goal and cutesy homage to his hot stick, we heard the whining criticism and talk of retribution from old-school hockey people and subsequent media buzz.
My favorite whiner? Rick Tocchet. The guy pled guilty to running a gambling ring. The investigators called the case Operation Slapshot. But Ovie’s celebration hurt his pride. Really Rick? Really? Did you advise Gretzky's wife not to celebrate when she won big on bets you placed for her? Schroeder's blog follows  and  shows how hockey fans really feel about goal celebrations.

“Fifteen yard penalty, EXCESSIVE CELEBRATION. Dallas Cowboys.”

Certainly we have all seen the “in your face” touchdown dance where a player who has just scored is celebrating with a funky dance that looks like an audition for “Dancing With the Stars” or at least “Talent Night at the Apollo”. These over the top displays of sports cockiness have been penalized for over ten years now and some have called the NFL, the No Fun League. Hockey doesn’t have any pre-planned rhythmic celebrations. Nor does it have a specific penalty or rule against it. It does, however have ice dancing which most NHLers would rather not be associated with.

From 1967 through part of the 1977 season, Bill Goldsworthy was a popular player and goal scorer for the Minnesota North Stars. For each of his 295 goals scored during his NHL days, he did “The Goldy Shuffle” after scoring. Picture a player gliding on one leg, the other leg raised and bent, and then his right hand off the stick and doing 3-4 casual fist pumps. When Goldy was really feeling it, his shuffle might also be accompanied by 2-3 leg pumps as well, but you try all this rockin’ on one skate after scoring a goal.His Goldy Shuffle was an understated, classy celebration of getting the puck into the net. It was nowhere near as famous as other old-school celebrations, notably Bobby Orr’s 1970 Stanley Cup winning goal in overtime to beat St. Louis where Bobby is leaping horizontally to the ice, arms and legs outstretched. Some say he was tripped by an angry opposing defenseman, but I have seen the replays recently and all I can see is pure joy in his leap.

Paul's timely post reminded me of  my favorite hockey celebration. It's Teemu Selanne  skeet shooting his glove in mid-air after breaking the rookie scoring record as a Winnipeg Jet. That celebration was way more excessive than Ovechkin laying his stick on the ice an pretending to warm his hands from it.

Another excessive celebration hypocrite is Don Cherry, hockey’s lovable Archie Bunker. He wears a different clown suit every weekend on CBC, thinks Ovie’s celebrations are excessive and told Ovechkin to “have a little class.”  A classic case of  the pot calling the kettle black.”

The number one excessive celebration IMHO was Jaromir Jagr’s. As memory has it, the 19 year old Jaromir fresh off the boat from Czechoslovakia, scored the clinching goal in a visiting city during one of their very emotional playoff rounds and skated around the ice joyfully giving the crowd the middle finger salute (gloves on). He later said he only meant “We’re number one!”

Memo to you old-school hockey guys and media; Get over it!  It's show biz! Fans love it. It's incredibly hard and rewarding to score a goal in the fastest most brutal team sport on earth, but it's still ENTERTAINMENT. No excessive celebration can ever diminish your amazing skills and guts even if you're the one who got beat on the play.  If your pride is still hurt, you can cry all the way to the bank and place some bets with Coach Tocchet using just the interest on your mutli-million dollar salaries.  Celebration! Come on!

Nip & Tuck

Being a Kings fan during their earliest inception was like dating a cute butt ugly high school girl whose wacky father kept getting her botched plastic surgery instead of putting money away for her college education.
When the NHL expanded to 12 teams in 1967, the Los Angeles Kings, in the the most ironic draft lottery ever, were awarded their one, their only, their unforgettable first overall draft pick, ever. They picked defenseman Rick Pagnutti number one overall. He played zero games in the NHL, overall. Not wanting to make that kind of mistake again, the Kings GM’s, from then on, treated first round draft picks like Get-out-of-jail-free Cards.
If you search the Kings’ all-time trade history page you will find “acquired (so-n-so) for a first-round draft choice” 12 times in the Kings’ first 15 seasons. 5 in the first 6 years. Thanks to owner Jack Cant Cook’s obsession with using veteran “Big name” players to win, NOW, loyal Kings GM’s Larry Regan and Jake Milford, who were poor at recognizing young talent to begin with, adhered closely to Cooke’s formula while adding a strong pinch of their own misguided overestimation of any player who played for Montreal. Everytime the Kings traded one of their draft choices we fans and management expected some knight in shining skateblades to rescue the fair (butt ugly) maiden, especially if they hailed from one of the legendary Original Six. Oh the great hopes (and 1st rounders) we had of becoming Montreal West. “We play in the Forum too!” I still can recall the parade of C/H veterans that were to be our purple and gold pillars: Gerry Desdesjardin, Ralph Backstrom, Rogie Vachon, Terry Harper, Bob Murdoch, and Steve Shutt! The speedy young Canadien guns that were sure to become the west coasts next big scorers; Glenn Goldup, Randy Rota, Murray Wilson “They’re so fast.” And then there were many other notables we got for 1st rounders in various years, Skip Krake, Ross Lonsberry and Eddie Shack and later goalie Ron Grahame from Boston , Gene Carr from the Rangers, Jerry Korab, Rick Martin from Buffalo in the early 80’s.

This dysfunctional team building strategy reached it's zenith with the acquisition of  (The French Connection's ) Rick Martin  for a 1st (Tom Barrasso) & 3rd rounder. He ended playing only 4 more games for the Kings than Pagnutti did.  The next most frustrating giveaway was a 1st round pick (Ray Borque)  for Ron Graham. Boston had 2 other great goalies and would've had to put one of them on waivers a few days after this deal went down.

Although the Kings never became big winners on the ice or at the box office under Cooke, his veteran team building wetdream finally came true in football, not hockey, with George Allen’s successful Over-the–Hill-Gang early in the 70’s. (Cooke was majority owner of the Washington Redskins, too.)

Meanwhile in LA LA Land, it was that lovable rogue Bruce McNall who made the ultimate nip and tuck when he acquired Wayne Gretzky for three first round picks. This was a facelift AND a boobjob replacing the cute butt ugly purple & gold daughter with a royal temptress who came within a seductive curve of becoming L.A.'s black and silver trophy wife.