After watching the Ducks hit 4 goal posts in the first 25 minutes of play and lose to the lowly ugly 3rd jersey Coyotes and thus failing to clinch 6th place, I realized it was time to go postal.
A tie is like kissing your sister, every sports fan understands that. But hitting the post in hockey, that’s more like having your MILF aunt coming on to you at Thanksgiving Dinner. It’s not even a shot on goal, but you almost scored! Records of this event can only be found in the Bermuda Triangle. It’s not a save, it’s not a goal and it isn't counted as a shot on goal, although you hit the goal (as defined by) the goal posts. Ringing one off the pipe, even in a pick-up game, is like opening a big shiny gift on Xmas morning only to find a dozen dress socks.
Well, it’s a game of inches, but it’s also a game of decibels.
The roar of the fans, the crunching and rattling of bodychecks against the dasherboards, the loud slap of the puck spanked by a stick and the keen flanged blast of shots hitting the curved glass, all pale in comparison to the harsh dissonant bling of a hard shot off the post. It cuts like a knife through every frequency to announce the melodramatic Maxwell Smart moment, “Missed it by that much!”
The crowd is abuzz, the door is ajar, the players, announcers and cameramen get an adrenalin rush and scramble frenetically to adjust to a situation that almost wasn’t. The shooter looks heavenward and we all become expert lip readers.
The roar of the fans, the crunching and rattling of bodychecks against the dasherboards, the loud slap of the puck spanked by a stick and the keen flanged blast of shots hitting the curved glass, all pale in comparison to the harsh dissonant bling of a hard shot off the post. It cuts like a knife through every frequency to announce the melodramatic Maxwell Smart moment, “Missed it by that much!”
The crowd is abuzz, the door is ajar, the players, announcers and cameramen get an adrenalin rush and scramble frenetically to adjust to a situation that almost wasn’t. The shooter looks heavenward and we all become expert lip readers.
The more important the game, the more crucial the situation, the more that is riding on the outcome, the more likely it is that hitting the post is a ba-a-ad omen for the shooter’s team, often instant karma on the resulting counterattack. Overtime, shootout, overtime playoff game; hitting the post is a death knell. (Just track this in the upcoming playoffs. It’s by far the best bet in Vegas)
The harsh ping is also such a surprise because, let’s face it, we can’t really visually follow most hard shots anyway. It is a sudden audio freeze frame of a 100 mph blur. A bookmark in time. A ringning exclamation point of perfect frustration. So close, yet so far away. And each chime of the goal post opens a door and welcomes the shooting team into the Murphy Zone; Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
The harsh ping is also such a surprise because, let’s face it, we can’t really visually follow most hard shots anyway. It is a sudden audio freeze frame of a 100 mph blur. A bookmark in time. A ringning exclamation point of perfect frustration. So close, yet so far away. And each chime of the goal post opens a door and welcomes the shooting team into the Murphy Zone; Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
